5 Techniques To Avoid Abuse

Abuse is something that is present in everyday life, in many different forms. It can exist in the relationship with your partner, your parents, a friend or a colleague. It can be with a person who is incapable of treating others with respect; any person in your life who is unable to interact with you without mistreating you in some way.

This is something that can be avoided because not everyone will mistreat you. Those who practice abuse usually choose the “weakest” and most insecure people as victims. They choose those who don’t know how to react to a situation they have no control over.

Do you want to know how to respond and react to a situation of abuse? Do you want to put an end to these circumstances, but are you afraid? Don’t hang your shoulders and don’t accept anything in your life that you don’t want. Today is the day to start escaping situations of abuse.

1. Answer appropriate

An appropriate response can help avoid a situation where a person continues to abuse you. But how can you do this? It is not easy to always have the necessary courage, but it is essential to do your very best in situations where you can react and know how to react.

Sometimes there are certain ways you can change your behavior to avoid abuse, whatever form it may take. Responding appropriately can alleviate a situation. Here are two suggestions for ways to respond to an abuse situation:

• The first is to respond with closed sentences. Short, clear and concise statements accompanied by firm tone and full conviction, for example:
  • Sorry, but I have to go at 5:00 PM.
  • Today I can not. I’m very sorry.
  • Right now I have other priorities to focus on.
  • That’s very interesting; I will think about it.
  • I’d like to think about what you’re saying.

Sometimes it may seem rude to speak this way, but to avoid abuse and abuse it is necessary to change your position from being nice and friendly to being firm and assertive.

• The second way is by reacting like a broken record. By repeating the same thing over and over and giving the same message over and over, the other person can become aware of your position and perspective. In this way you can reformulate and reaffirm what you really don’t want in your life.

2. Protect your sense of humor

No one has the right to rob you of your smile. Even in the most difficult situations, pull yourself together with a smile. This will help you overcome the feeling that what the other person says is all that matters. It is essential to know yourself best.  Know what you are good at and also recognize the things that are not your strong points. Know your weaknesses as well as your strengths.

If you are sure of yourself, no one can bring you down. Every scornful word or disparaging statement that can be said against you can be said and it means nothing. You yourself know who you are; no one else can determine that! Smile at the abuse or hurtful words or actions that are done with the aim of humiliating you or bringing you down. You know the truth. So do they, but still they try to hurt you.

3. Say what you feel

Why do you stay silent when you crave to say what you feel? Why are you afraid? Fear of the ridiculous, of what you might refute, may not be worse than not being able to say what you think. You probably even feel afraid of what others might do to hurt you or doubt you’re right. Learn to say what you feel. Learn to express yourself. This will make you stronger and will help you avoid situations where others hurt you.

If you don’t like the tone someone uses to you, tell them! If you don’t like how someone acts, say it! What’s wrong with standing up for yourself? Learn to express yourself. If others are bold enough to attack you for it, have the confidence to defend yourself.

4. Question, don’t just resign yourself to something

When someone who has a tendency to abuse others says something to you, it’s easy to keep quiet. By not saying anything, we conform to what that person is saying, even if we don’t actually agree. In moments like these, silence works against us.

Therefore , today you must learn to question what others say.  Let that abusive person elaborate on his argument. You will soon realize that he will not be able to do this. He will respond with answers like “Just because…” or “Because I say so”. But despite that, you need to force this argument so he can realize that what he’s saying makes no sense!

By doing this you will not humble yourself, nor will you let that person conquer you. You will put yourself on the same level as that person and allow him to explain something he cannot explain. At this point  , you will know that the other person is wrong and cannot hurt you.

5. Disarm your abuser

Do you want to know how to disarm the person who mistreats you? It’s easy. You just need to know how to block the other person so he doesn’t know how to respond. We’ve covered one of these things before, but there are many more:

• Invite this person to think about what he is saying and show him that he is wrong.
• Use short and firm words and phrases that avoid getting pulled into his game.
• Speak calmly and in a low tone. If the other person yells, don’t yell back. Show calm!
• Bored him, talk to him until he doesn’t want to talk anymore.
• Respond with questions like “Yes, so?”

What happens if you do this? Ideally, this person will leave you alone. When he says, “Why are you wearing that, you look awful!”, and you respond with “Yeah, so?” that person will soon have no reason to burn you down.

An abuser is an insecure person who believes he can feel safe by humiliating others. Don’t allow it. It’s up to you whether that person mistreats you, whether the relationship is romantic, family, or work or school related or not.

–Images courtesy of Angela Carte and Gustav Klimt–