Dealing With Someone With Obsessive Personality Disorder

The truth is that in today’s world, at least in much of it, we value and use certain behavioral styles. These have to do with work, productivity and results. People who are perfectionistic, precise, organized and competent are highly valued in the workplace. So often the people with these qualities get promotion and high positions of responsibility. Individuals with obsessive personality disorder actually fit very well in this milieu.

Not only do they like to do things right, but they want to be “the best”. They do not engage in leisure activities. For their thought processes find rest and pleasure a loss of productive time and progress.

Characteristics of obsessive people

People with obsessive personality disorder usually measure their satisfaction with their behavior in one way. They base it on their schedules and values ​​before looking at the results.

These people rarely show their instincts or their immediate reactions. Most of the answers they give are the result of deep reflection. They don’t like to take risks. The opposite is true. They plan, organize and classify everything they can plan, organize and classify.

Obsessive people often keep useless things as well. Because they think “who knows if I might need it one day.” They can also spend significantly less time on family and other relationships. But most of the time, they do make sure that the basic needs of their loved ones are met and taken care of.

When the traits of the obsessive personality take an extreme form, it will lead to maladaptive behaviors. Their actions will then no longer be efficient or effective. In addition, they will disrupt a person’s life to a great extent. If this is the case, then we are dealing with obsessive personality disorder.

The Obsessive Impulsive Personality Style: The Perfectionist

We see the difference between the perfectionist personality and the obsessive personality disorder in the severity of the symptoms. People with obsessive personality disorder are so conscientious that they have problems at work and in their personal lives.

When this perfectionism interferes with their daily lives, we are talking about obsessive personality disorder. On the other hand, Western societies also value a perfectionist personality style. In these cultures individuality, competence and career advancement are the fundamental values.

Developed countries

The style of the obsessive personality is more common in advanced societies. We see it especially in cultures that are generally more organized and disciplined. Here, qualities such as efficiency, punctuality, persistence, hard work and accuracy are an advantage.

Overtime hours in the office and completing an assignment are rewarded. It is often also the way in which people are promoted to higher positions. In general terms, it is assumed that the harder an employee works, the better it is for the company.

The obsessive personality disorder and self-discipline

A person with an obsessive personality has a lot of self-discipline (a strong ‘superego’, if we look at this from a psychoanalytic perspective). The intellect controls this type of person and not the emotions. In addition, they are usually reserved and not very energetic.

They are also prone to stress. This is especially true if their behavior fits into the type A pattern. This pattern makes it difficult for them to relax and enjoy life. Free time without planned activities can make them more nervous than a plan full of deadlines.

The Obsessive Personality Disorder and Relationships

In terms of relationships, these people are usually good partners. They are loyal, responsible and take good care of their partner. But they don’t do this in a romantic way and show little emotion. They are especially practical.

Because they are so reserved, they make good partners for theatrical people (this is the most exaggerated and dramatic personality type). Obsessive personality types are attracted to theatrical personalities. That’s because the latter makes them feel more active and alive. At the same time, a theatrical personality may find an obsessive personality attractive because they provide the stability they need.

The obsessive personality type also usually gets along well with antisocial, avoidant, dependent, and self-destructive types. On the other hand, people with an obsessive personality do not seem to have good relationships with people of the same personality or with people who are narcissistic, paranoid or sadistic.

How do you deal with an obsessive type?

Oldham and Morris propose how to interact with people who have been diagnosed with obsessive personality disorder. Because some behaviors help to make the relationship go better. They recommend a good sense of humor and tolerance. That way you let the obsessive person do what they do. It is also recommended that you are flexible. You allow them to act their way as long as it doesn’t make you feel resentment.

Don’t expect them to change on their own. After all, they are reluctant to new things. So someone else has to introduce them to the changes. In addition, their lack of affection can be discouraging. But remember that this only means they don’t show it. In no way is it proof that they have no feelings.

Power games with people with obsessive personality disorder are not effective. Because these people are very good at arguing. Experts recommend that you listen to them and try to understand them. In a relationship, the obsessive person will tend to take control of the details.

In summary, we can describe the obsessive personality disorder in the following way. It resembles perfectionism, over-dedication to work, rigidity, and an inability to get rid of worthless objects. Relationships with this type of person can be difficult unless the couple takes into account the aspects we have mentioned in this article.

Works Cited

Feist, J. (2007). Theories about the Personality.

Schultz, D. (2002), Personality Theories.