How Do You Overcome Chronic Discontent?

Some people feel dissatisfied even if they don’t have everything they could ever want or need. This is due to chronic dissatisfaction. One of the greatest ills and temptations of the 21st century is constant complaints. There are two different approaches to dealing with this.

• The first approach tells us to accept our situation as it is.
• The second approach is completely the opposite.

People say, “If you’re dissatisfied with your situation, change it! Set a goal, work hard to achieve it and your life will change for the better.”

But what if we told you that the key to managing chronic dissatisfaction is a combination of these two approaches?

Why do people feel dissatisfied?

We have all felt dissatisfied with something at least once in our lives. There is no such thing as a perfect life. However, the problem arises when this feeling takes over your life. In general, chronic dissatisfaction has to do with two things:

• not accepting reality
• not actively working on changing what we don’t like about it

The secret that many people don’t know is that both aspects are crucial for happiness. Applying only one of the two is a recipe for depression and unpleasant emotions.

What happens if you just accept the present?

Imagine if your way of dealing with dissatisfaction is to accept everything that happens to you. Even though there are things in your life that you don’t like at all, you decide to stop worrying about them. After all, enjoying the present as it is is one of the keys to happiness.

As a result, you force yourself not to think about what makes you unhappy. When your boss treats you badly, you look the other way. If you don’t have enough money to raise children, you decide not to have one. How do you think these things will make you feel in the long run?

You will probably end up feeling like you no longer have control over your life. You will feel like a floating boat, and rightly so. Acceptance is a very powerful tool, but only in two aspects:

• as a starting point for change (if you don’t give in to your problems, it will become impossible for you to work on a solution)
• as a way to digest what you cannot change

Plus, you’re likely to mistakenly “accept” anything you don’t like. This will eventually cause major problems.

Responding without acknowledging your reality – is that the key?

Now let’s consider the opposite scenario. Imagine feeling so uncomfortable with your current situation that you decide to work hard to change it. However, you don’t seem to accept that you are to blame for many of the things that are part of your current reality.

It is good that you want to take the bull by the horns and change your situation. However, you must accept that you have been part of the problem so that you can work on yourself as well. This is because a lack of honesty with yourself will lead you to make wrong decisions, which in turn will distract you from what you want.

How do you deal with chronic dissatisfaction

If you are dissatisfied with your current situation, the solution is to combine the two previous strategies. If you want to feel good, you must both accept what is happening to you and actively work to change your reality. While this may seem contradictory, the following example will help you understand how this works.

Imagine you have a high BMI (body mass index) and you want to lower it. You also believe that you would be much happier if you were fit.

Well, the first step is to have a genuine dialogue with yourself, which will help you realize whether you really want this or not. However, one thing is certain: in either case, denying what you really want will only lead to adopting strategies that put you at risk.

On the other hand, dieting and exercising, while torturing yourself for allowing yourself to become so fat, won’t help you either. Making yourself feel bad will never help you. Therefore, if you really love yourself, what do you do?

• First, accept that you don’t love your body (or that you do). You have a high BMI and you want to be in shape.
• Once you’ve acknowledged this, make sure you know that your current situation doesn’t define who you are as a person. What matters is what you do to change your reality.
• Then set a goal and get to work on reaching that goal. In this case, for example, you can change your eating habits and start exercising. We recommend that you find someone you trust who can help you through this transition.

• Throughout this process, objectively observe what works for you and change what doesn’t. Remind yourself that good things take time and that it’s okay to feel defeated every now and then, as long as you don’t give up.

Applying these four steps will help you overcome your chronic dissatisfaction. Remember that accepting your situation and working to change it are two steps on the same path. It is difficult to come up with an intelligent plan of action if you do not analyze and accept your current situation in advance.