The Storms We Weather Bring Us Back To Life
Much of who we are is determined by the things we’ve been through. We often underestimate the lessons learned from our most difficult experiences, without considering the tremendous positive changes these lessons have brought us. We miss the person we were before we went through all those unpleasant things, without realizing that in life it is inevitable to go through these kinds of things sometimes. The things we can come out of stronger or destroyed. These are the storms of life.
In reality, it is precisely the tumultuous times, the great disappointments and the unpleasant experiences that reveal our true nature and help us become stronger and more resilient. Whether this is a coincidence or not, sometimes that storm we have to endure actually brings us back to life. It’s paradoxical and most of the time we don’t expect it, but puzzling ourselves back together after being hurt and experiencing a lot of pain often makes us calmer than ever.
The storms that transform us
If life were flat and simple, it wouldn’t be life. If everyone on Earth were the same and wanted the same things, human relationships would be empty and there would be no reason to fight and overcome challenges. Even in a completely just society where everyone is equal, something great that we all long for, conflicts can still arise.
Imbalance is in the nature of everything that surrounds us and also in the nature of humans. Not knowing how to tolerate ambiguity, uncertainty and conflict is a good way to develop psychological disorders. The myth that we can achieve stability in our lives is just that, a myth.
If we were aware of this, we would be prepared for the possibility of sudden changes or painful experiences. Prepared and aware, never educated: this is how we can learn to deal with the good and the bad things that happen to us.
The Kintsugi Metaphor
Sometimes, when we have just gone through a painful period, we think it would be best to try and glue the broken pieces back together as best we can, thinking that the pieces always have to fit together exactly to heal our scars. can hide.
We want to keep moving forward at all costs, unfazed by the pain we have just endured. We think we show no signs of weakness when we turn the page quickly and pretend to be strong.
Western culture still has a lot to learn from Eastern philosophies in this regard: pain does not have to be hidden at all; we must learn to stop associating a lack of pain with maintaining our self-confidence. To endure and overcome a difficult situation is a sign of pride and beauty.
When the Japanese repair broken porcelain, they show off the broken pieces by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that something becomes more beautiful when it is damaged and has a history. The traditional Japanese art form in which broken porcelain is repaired with a strong gold glue is also called Kintsugi. This art form not only fixes broken items, but also makes them even stronger than the original.
Instead of trying to hide the cracks and imperfections, they are emphasized and celebrated. Now they have become the strongest part of the object. Kintsukoroi is the Japanese term used to describe the art of repairing things with gold or silver lacquer, understanding that the object has become more beautiful because it was once broken.
The idea is that when something valuable breaks, we should not try to hide its fragility or imperfection, but rather repair it with something that exhibits the beautiful qualities of gold: strength, service, virtue…
Fierce emotional storms bring something new
We cannot know what role an emotional storm will play in our lives until we have completely escaped from it. Some storms even keep coming back over and over and don’t pass until we’ve learned to confront them and managed to find shelter, assuming the clouds of the storm will always appear at some point, just like the sun .
Once again nature teaches us a true lesson: nothing is immutable and permanent, however peaceful and beautiful it may seem. Change seems to be the only rule that life will always follow.
So the next time a storm comes, it’s natural to be scared… but try to stand your ground nonetheless. If the storm blows you over and you are left with bruises, do not accept that pain with a passive or masochistic attitude, but accept the pain with a conscious and selective attitude.
It’s the little details that can show you a lot about yourself, things that can serve you well in the future. Maybe all those little bruises can show you who or what it is that hurt you so much.
Ultimately, there are also storms that are simply unavoidable in this life. So if you’re already in a storm like this, it’s best to soak yourself completely, which may help you come out with cleaner or newer ideas that can bring you back to life.
–Images courtesy of Nathalia Suellen and Fairy Tales–
