How To Recover From Psychological Abuse

Recovering from psychological abuse means dealing with a traumatic event. That has seriously affected your self-confidence. To do this, you need to stop blaming yourself. The person who has faith and gives everything in the relationship is never wrong. The ‘crime’ is committed by the narcissistic and unhealthy person who lies, manipulates, blackmails and psychologically abuses.

We want to emphasize the importance of not blaming yourself or feeling responsible for a very concrete reason. When someone is finally able to get out of an abusive relationship, everyone (including themselves) wonders why they didn’t leave sooner  and why they were so blind to what was happening.

Psychological abuse

This is not an easy process. Psychological abuse is not easy to expose. It features mechanisms that are very subtle, yet very refined at the same time. We must also not forget another very important element: love. Remember that a person in love is stubborn, confident and tenacious. So the signs of emotional abuse are often hard to see. And when the person in love does see them, the brain twists and turns to dispel the doubts. It’s like there’s a thick cloud of fog hanging around it, so you can’t really see what’s going on.

Until you just do it. Until you are fully aware of what is happening. Sooner or later you look in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself anymore. The person you see in the mirror is just a shadow of who you once were.

Not everyone manages to recover from psychological abuse

The cycle of psychological abuse is often similar to addiction. There is a punishment-reward cycle that you quickly get caught up in. Sometimes the abuser gives you all the attention in the world, and untamed passion. But then come the demands, the chill, the humiliation and the reproaches that are so damaging.

Good treatment is linked to abuse. You become a cog in the engine that controls the abuser. It is not easy to break this cycle and leave this situation. And don’t believe that your suffering is over the moment you end the relationship.

Many people who eventually end an abusive relationship think that this brave step will bring everything to an end. They think everything will get better after they make that decision. They have landed at the bottom of the pit, and now everything will improve quickly. This is unfortunately not true.

Signs that you haven’t healed from your abusive relationship

• You feel guilty. You are mad at yourself for not seeing the truth before. You blame yourself for wasting so much time on someone who was harmful to you.
• The guilt mixes with anger. Your frustration and anger accumulate. So much so that you sometimes take these feelings out on others.
• You don’t trust people anymore.
• You have moments when you are hyperactive. Then you want to do a lot of things and get involved in a lot of different projects, but then you get exhausted. You don’t have enough energy.

• Your self-image, self-esteem and self-confidence are damaged or vulnerable.
• It is difficult (or impossible) to experience positive feelings with the same intensity as before. Pleasure is less enjoyable, your dreams no longer give you motivation or hope. You feel numb.

Strategies for Overcoming Psychological Abuse

As we’ve said before,  to get over psychological abuse, it’s good not to see yourself as a victim. You must keep in mind that you are more than that. Don’t let this take over your whole sense of self. Put aside feelings of guilt. Stop feeling helpless. Helplessness will make this traumatic attitude chronic in the long run. The victim identity diminishes your strength and undermines your self-confidence even more.

So let’s take a look at the strategies you can use to meet this challenge.

Focus! You are brave and you need to take back control of your life

You are not a victim. You are a brave person who has to get over a traumatic past. To do this you need to take life by the horns and live in the moment. You are responsible for your own life. After all, responsibility means knowing how to respond to things. So remove all guilt from your mind and take back control of your life, of your situation.

Calm during an existential crisis

Recovering from psychological abuse involves learning to be responsible for yourself and this new phase of your life. So as you take this step, you may feel fear or confusion. When confronting these feelings, you need to stay calm.

Be calm. Understand that no one will push you to recover quickly. Remember (and assume) that healing takes time. Therefore, your only option is to follow this rhythm, listen to yourself and accept your emotions. Little by little you will be able to take full control.

Positive management of your situation

After an abusive relationship, it’s normal to feel anxious and suspicious. You may have a negative self-image because you didn’t break the relationship before. It is important not to get caught up in these thought patterns. Try to look at life in a positive way.

• When you feel angry, channel your feelings and let them out.
• Talk to others when you feel alone. Find a support group of people who have been through the same thing.

• If you feel like you’re stuck and feeling helpless and frustrated, make an appointment with a therapist.

To get over psychological abuse, you need to change your life in a positive way. Be proactive in your recovery. Make sure you have the resources and support you need. Open yourself up to your surroundings and look for the right form of therapy to find the best version of yourself.

Anyone can break the cycle of abuse. You may not come out unscathed, that’s for sure. But you can eventually come back as a stronger person if you develop yourself into a resilient, valuable and worthy person.