Accepting Your Emotions: The First Step Towards Happiness

Emotions are relatively brief psychophysiological states that we all experience. Their mission is to get a clear message across to you: something is happening that needs your attention. It can happen on the inside or on the outside, but it is somehow related to you. Accepting your emotions is something you have to learn.

Our emotions drive us, willingly or unwillingly, to take action. In fact, the term “emotion” comes from the Latin word emotio, which means “movement or impulse” or “that which moves you.”

Emotional states occur when our brains release certain neurotransmitters or hormones. These convert emotions into feelings. Feelings, unlike emotions, last longer and are easier to verbalize.

We can classify emotions according to their value: healthy positive emotions (joy, well-being, calmness…), unhealthy positive emotions (euphoria, mania, hypomania…), healthy negative emotions (frustration, sadness, anger, regret…), and unhealthy ones. negative emotions (depression, anxiety, guilt…).

It seems that our society has stamped into our heads the idea that we should always be okay. However, this is completely unrealistic and unfeasible.

Emotional states come and go depending on the circumstances, our expectations, how we process information etc. Being in a happy emotional state forever is not only non-adaptive but also impractical.

Accepting your emotions: why is it so difficult?

We live in a culture of well-being and consumption. We are constantly bombarded with unrealistic messages that put pressure on us.

These messages tend to tell us that this or that product is the solution to all our problems. They also reinforce the idea that no matter what happens, we should always smile. Finally, they overestimate the degree of control we have over our lives. They make it seem like we have to take the blame for our sadness ourselves.

This irrational positivity only makes us feel even worse. Demanding that we’re constantly in a good mood can actually keep us from ever really feeling that way. It eventually causes us to disguise our true feelings so that others see only the socially acceptable feelings.

This attitude just makes us feel bad for feeling bad. It doesn’t help us come up with a productive solution. It makes negative emotions last longer. In this context, even healthy negative emotions become unhealthy.

Society is not the only bad influence on our ability to properly manage our emotions. How we were raised also has a lot to do with it. There is a blatant absence of emotional intelligence in schools and households. For example, who hasn’t been reminded of the idea that “men don’t cry?”

Accepting Your Emotions: Strategies to Learn It

It’s important to learn how to effectively accept your emotional states, whatever they may be. Paradoxically, once you succeed in doing this, you will feel your negative emotions disappear on their own.

What we need to avoid is feeding our emotions with even more negative thoughts. Taking on the victim role and engaging in other similar behaviors are things that only fuel the fire. The point is, it’s completely unproductive to criticize and judge yourself when you’re experiencing fear, sadness, or anger.

Here are a few strategies you can put into practice right away

Accept your emotions: leave thoughts like ‘I hear…’ or ‘I have to…’

When your inner voice starts sentences with ‘I hear…’ you have to replace it with a preference or an ‘I want…’ We cannot constantly try to control everything, not even our emotional state. We can only change the thoughts that are responsible for our mood. We can do this by accepting in the moment when we feel bad.

You are human and you have to accept yourself as such

You are not a god, or superman, or a perfect person. You are human and therefore you will experience pleasant and unpleasant emotions. Accept the idea that you cannot fight against your own nature.

Feel the emotion in your body

Invite the emotion to dwell within you. It may be uncomfortable but it won’t kill you. It’s just some chemicals in your bloodstream. Don’t give it more importance than that, don’t get dramatic. Love it, accept it. It’s part of who you are.

Normalize your emotional states

Just as we tell people that we are hot or cold or that we feel pain, we can also talk about our emotions. Even if they are not very positive. Accepting your emotions means normalizing them on every level, including in relation to other people.

This could mean that we feel another common emotion: shame. But remember, shame arises when we try to hide something ‘bad’. Is it really that bad to feel bad every now and then?

Far from making you a weak person, your emotions actually just make you human. Do not forget that. Don’t hide them; live them, experience them, learn from them and be inspired by them.