Little Emperor Syndrome: Child Tyrants

We are always more or less surprised by the behavior of children towards their parents : disrespect, insults, raising their voices and many other things. A kind of authority that has moved from the parents to the children.

It seems the roles have turned. The parents are no longer the ones who set the standards and assign punishments; instead, the children have the power.

What happened? Why this change? Since “spanking” has been established as abuse, parents have become afraid of their children and children have found an effective way to manipulate their parents. This submission is not so good for our children, who grow up hostile to their own families, filled with authoritarian beliefs  that sooner or later will take its toll.

The mind of an authoritarian child

A child suffering from ‘Little Emperor Syndrome’ will always choose what to eat, what others should do, when to go out, where the family goes on vacation, what the family should watch on TV… In short,  he commands, dictates and decides everything for himself and for others.

Why is this happening? Because  these kids have an underdeveloped sense of empathy. This means that they are unable to experience feelings and emotions putting themselves in the shoes of others.

If we don’t do what the authoritarian child tells us to do, we will have tantrums and sometimes even aggression. This is how they become more than an authoritarian child: a dictator. It is easy to distinguish a child who suffers from the so-called ‘Little Emperor syndrome’, because they have the following characteristics:

• They have personality traits associated with egocentrism.
• They have little tolerance for frustration.
• They don’t know how to control or regulate their feelings.
• They will not tolerate their demands not being met.
• They know the weaknesses of others.
• They are experts at manipulating others mentally.

Recognizing all of this, we sometimes wonder why we don’t do anything to fix it. Especially when we see it happen. There are many TV shows that show this horrible behavior. Why don’t the parents respond? Because they are afraid,  but above all, because they have allowed their children to dominate them.

The importance of education

For reasons that are not yet known, there are parents who raise their children in a passive and relaxed way  that encourages the children to become authoritarian sooner or later. This not only causes problems at home, but also at school. How do teachers deal with these authoritarian personalities?

These children don’t know what respect or forgiveness is… they are not aware of their place. This is why they turn into difficult people who have no purpose in life except to boss others around. The parents have chosen to raise their children passively, without considering the consequences that they will sooner or later regret.

We know that parenting is a laborious task, a complicated task that demands a lot of strength and energy that we sometimes do not have or do not want to have. But when we decide to have children, this is one of the first assumptions we accept. We take on the responsibility of their upbringing, something that takes a lot of effort.

As long as they’re kids, we can believe we have time to get over this attitude that we can’t handle right now. The problem is when the adolescent rears its head and we find ourselves caught in a whirlwind of conflicting signals that can lead to aggression.

That’s why  it’s so important that we as parents make the effort so that our children also learn the value of putting in the effort  and know that it’s important to take responsibility and show respect for others.

Boundaries are necessary. We form people who should live together in this world and that we should be proud of. If we are not interested in this, we cannot expect any change.

Authoritarian children will often fall before they learn,  but they will never understand why no one taught them this from the start.

–Images courtesy of Nicoletta Ceccoli, Ivan Alfaro—