Tell Me What You Think About Others And I’ll Tell You Who You Are
What you think about others can say a lot about your own character and personality. According to the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , people who see others as honest, pleasant, and stable feel more satisfied in their lives.
On the other hand, those who have a negative opinion of their peers are the most antisocial, narcissistic and obnoxious.
This study also proved that people who evaluate their partner positively are less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety disorders.
On the contrary, people who are overly critical of others are more prone to personality disorders, especially paranoid or anti-social disorders.
In paranoid personality disorder, the main pattern is one of distrust and general suspicion of others, and interpreting their intentions as malicious. Therefore, they see neutral or positive messages as insults, bullying, or humiliation.
When in doubt about another’s intention, a paranoid person will choose the most unfavorable option. That is, one sees what the other has done or said as an attack.
Personality disorders aside, there are always people who go through life criticizing everything and everyone . We all know someone who thinks the world is full of bad people.
According to this study, whether true or not, these thoughts probably don’t contribute to their happiness. Rather, it would be natural for them to be elusive and suspicious.
We are mirrors
Our outside acts like a mirror to our mind. In it we see the reflection of our own different qualities or aspects.
If we perceive something from someone that we don’t like, and we feel rejected, that aspect may also be in us. Moreover, this rejection can only be a reflection of the rejection we ourselves feel for something within us.
It is also possible that our unconscious side, through projection, gives us the idea that the defect only exists ‘outside’, in that other person. Psychological projection is a defense mechanism, in which a person attributes feelings, thoughts or own impulses to others. Things they themselves deny or find unacceptable.
This mechanism is triggered in situations of emotional conflict or when we feel threatened internally or externally. To relieve our inner discomfort, we focus on the outside: on all the qualities we do not accept. We attribute them to something outside of ourselves.
In this way, our mind apparently manages to move this threatening content out and fight it in the real world.
Much of what bothers you about other people is just projection
The inner world tends to color the outer world with its own characteristics. For example, if you are very happy, you will probably view the world with optimism and joy. You’ll probably say things like, “Today is a great day” or “What a beautiful day.”
Of course, the day is not completely great or beautiful. Instead, these qualities are subjective and it is us who bring them out. The projection process is inherent in human mental functioning, allowing us to feel and humanize the world.
Very often the things that we find difficult about others are the very things that we have not yet solved in ourselves. Because if we had, it would never have become a chronic problem.
In these cases, accepting our problems through meditation will help us get to know ourselves better. It will teach us to consider more than one perspective before jumping to conclusions.
