Complete Forgiveness: The Past No Longer Hurts
When someone hurts you, your first reaction is to get angry. You are absolutely unwilling to forgive the person who has wronged you. You are offended, disappointed and probably hurt. However, this very natural and common reaction also has a downside. Therefore, if someone hurts you, complete forgiveness is the only way to find peace and happiness again.
Indeed, holding onto resentments in the short term can prevent you from getting hurt again. This is also the reason why you don’t feel the need to forgive the other person.
However, if you hold onto resentments for too long, you will find yourself stuck in a situation that has long since ceased to exist. In that case, those intense feelings you have about the past cause unnecessary pain.
Two of the most negative states of mind there are are hatred and anger. If you don’t know how to forgive someone, these feelings will automatically linger.
Seneca described hatred and anger as the most terrible and insane of all emotions. Often the damage they cause is far worse than letting go of resentment, which can actually be good.
Do not wait to long
However, forgiving someone who has hurt us is not as simple as it seems. Once you understand that holding on to anger and hatred is not good for you, you are ready to forgive the other person. The question then is: how do you do that?
Suppose you meet a person who has been hit by an arrow. You wouldn’t first ask yourself where the arrow came from. You wouldn’t even try to figure out what kind of wood the arrow is made of. No, what you would do is figure out the best way to push the arrow out without causing too much damage and pain.
In fact, it should be the same with emotional pain. Try to do something about it as soon as possible, without causing much damage. Below we share a few reasons why complete forgiveness is the way to go.
Complete forgiveness is a sign of strength
Patience and tolerance are quite important for many people. However, when someone hurts us, it feels weak to respond patiently and tolerantly. It is therefore good to know that this is one of the main reasons why many of us find it difficult to completely forgive another.
Patience and tolerance are an important part of complete forgiveness and love. They are not signs of weakness at all. Acting with patience and tolerance is a sign of strength. Even if you are betrayed, you are able to hold on to your values.
Being able to respond patiently and tolerantly to a painful event shows just how strong you are emotionally. And this power also helps you forgive someone faster, as opposed to anger and hatred.
In addition, responding with patience shows that you are in control of your feelings, and this is a sign of self-confidence and emotional intelligence.
Complete forgiveness is good for the soul
Theory You teach us that we can not live in the future with the burdens of the past on our shoulders. By saying goodbye to what has already happened and forgiving ourselves and others, we open ourselves to new opportunities.
As Otto Scharmer, creator of this theory, also points out, energy follows attention. It is therefore not useful to focus your attention on what you want to avoid. You should focus on what you want to happen.
A person who is angry about his past unconsciously looks for the same results in his future relationships. He is stuck in what has happened in the past, and cannot develop new patterns.
More about Theory U
Theory You argue that if we are unable to let go of old fears and prejudices, there is no room for new things to come into our lives. If we are unable to let go of the burdens of the past, we do not give life room to surprise us with new experiences.
As you can see, it can be very difficult to forgive someone after they hurt us. However, it is crucial to learn to do this, and to forgive the person completely.
Remember that you are fully capable of letting go of the past. It will free you from the emotional burden that keeps you from moving forward.
