How To Handle Manipulative Criticism
How do you deal with criticism? Most people don’t find this easy, and that’s completely normal. Criticism can be scathing, and in some cases, manipulative.
Distinguishing between constructive and manipulative criticism can be difficult. Just thinking about the word criticism can evoke a certain sense of inner rejection.
So learn today how to confront criticism, especially the manipulative kind. You must not be influenced by it.
The Origin of Criticism
Why do people criticize? What is the goal? If you think about this for a moment, you may come to answers, or you may not. In general, there are three main motives for criticism:
- Trying to change a relationship that bothers you, worries you, or makes you feel uncomfortable.
- Trying to strengthen a relationship with another person because you fear they are deteriorating.
- Wanting that other person to accept the criticism.
These are the three main motives, but why do we often fail to achieve what we aim for with criticism? Why does it turn into something negative for the one who receives it?
The truth is that we make some mistakes when we criticize. First, we don’t always pick the right moment, or the criticism is sometimes forced and unnatural, often accompanied by unconscious aggression.
We also tend to give unnecessary advice and make comparisons. Sometimes the message we wish to convey doesn’t have enough power, so it might be better not to say it at all. All of this can negatively affect the person being criticized, damaging the relationship and causing problems with self-confidence and trust in others.
This is how you recognize a master of manipulation
Be like fog
We all know how fog can engulf everything around it, how it absorbs that which covers it and makes it disappear. Fog is indestructible, and it only disappears when it wants to.
That’s how we should be. We should be like a cloud of fog in the face of all that manipulative criticism that seeks to harm and destroy us. People who criticize in this way have serious self-esteem problems that they wish to camouflage by manipulatively criticizing others.
But if you use the fog technique, you won’t be deterred, just like fog. The other person’s words won’t change your state of being, and eventually he’ll get bored and quit, which is exactly the goal.
Obviously, you can’t counter-attack, because the result will be disastrous. You cannot stoop to the other person’s level, as this will only invite more criticism and weaken your position. Just be like fog and you will be fearless. It’s normal to be taken aback by criticism, but be strong and at least pretend it doesn’t affect you. Sooner or later you will see that the other one gets tired, and his words will be carried by the wind.
Have you often dealt with manipulative criticism? Then you should know that even though that other person wants to make you feel like you’re inferior, you’re actually worth a lot more than they are. His lack of self-confidence is what causes him to behave this way. It sounds contradictory, but it’s true. People who are full of negativity themselves will always try to put others in a bad light, so they think they can feel better about themselves.
