Afraid Of Making A Decision: How Does It Affect You?

There are not so many fears that occur as often as this one: the fear of making a decision. Actually, we should be experts in this. Because we make decisions every day, almost every minute. But sometimes you get stuck and don’t know which choice to make.

People from all different cultures, professions and educational levels and socio-economic strata have problems with it. We live in a society full of information and knowledge. This gives us a lot of options from which we can choose for almost everything.

At first you may think you will have an easier time making decisions. Because you have all those different sources of information and options. But often that amount of possible choices makes it so difficult to make a choice.

One of the most common reasons for this inhibition when making a decision is an emotion: fear. For example, you may be afraid to make a decision if you’re not convinced whether you should stay in a relationship or break up. This can also happen when you want to change your profession or job, whether or not you will have children, and so on.

When it comes to the big things in life, this fear can be very strong. Irreversible decisions can make the shock even worse. It may cause you to postpone the decision. But then you will only experience a vague uneasiness. Yet we often do it: if I don’t know what to do or which path to take, I postpone the decision until later.

Sometimes you do it in the hope that you will acquire more new information. This will then make it easier to decide. Or maybe time will scrap an opportunity and make the decision for you. As you can see, the fear of making a decision can significantly affect your life.

Being afraid to make a decision: the wrong decision

This is probably the most common situation. The more important the decisions, the more afraid you are that you will make the wrong choice. This actually has a very important adaptive function: being careful and protecting ourselves and others. We see a high cliff and we make a choice.

Being afraid to make a choice is a kind of fear that is linked to your responsibility for the choice. It ensures that you think about the possible options before making a choice. This fear is very normal when it comes to a change that is difficult or impossible to undo. So it is a decision with major consequences.

Then there are the people who are afraid to make almost any decision, including the kind that can be rectified after all and aren’t even that important. These people experience even more fear. They are often very rational persons who very rarely listen to their instincts.

Being afraid to make a decision: the consequences in your life

When you experience fear because it is possible that you will not choose the right path, it can paralyze you. It can cause you to be indecisive for a long time and react more slowly. Then you end up in an endless search for information about what the best decision is.

One of the biggest effects that occurs is that you will always be looking for more information or a definitive conclusion. In other words, you will mistakenly believe that continuing to think will bring you a safe and secure decision.

Having an intense fear of making the wrong choice can create what is called “pathological doubt” in psychology. The hallmark of pathological doubt is an obsessive search for absolute certainty. This search is reinforced by a mental urge that is expressed in a constant sense of doubt.

The fear of not giving birth

In this case, a person clearly knows what choice he will make. But he doubts his ability to deal with the consequences of the decision. For example, suppose someone has to decide whether or not to give a speech at a conference. Then it may happen that they refuse the invitation only out of fear. Because they fear that they will not outweigh the other panelists, or not live up to people’s expectations or their own expectations.

The fear of not giving birth can lead you to avoid positions of responsibility. You then focus on unimportant decisions and you leave the most important choices to others. This usually leads to low self-esteem.

Being afraid of not complying can also make you miss opportunities. That’s because you feel like you’re not prepared for what will be needed. We’re talking about the kind of fear that keeps you in your comfort zone. So it prevents you from growing. So one effective way to overcome this fear is to work on your self-esteem.

The fear of not being in control or losing control

People who have a strong need for control experience this fear the most. If a person has this need to a great extent and sees that he is not in control of everything concerning the decision, then he will stop the decision-making process. For example, many people end up turning down a job because it involves group projects. They only do this because of this fear.

Managing this need or dealing with a control freak can be a really stressful challenge. After all, it is a very strong need. An extreme form of this need is obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.

How do you determine if you are afraid of losing control?

We can identify it both during the decision making process and when the consequences of the decision occur. The effects of this fear during the decision-making process are usually the following:

• The person feels the need to check all available information before making a choice.
• They need an indefinite amount of time to think about a choice.
• Moreover, they constantly analyze the pros and cons of all possible choices.

We can also sometimes see fear of losing control, when the decision changes the person’s ability to be in control. What do we mean by this? You do have control over the choice. But the option you want to choose means you’re giving up some control. You tell yourself that in your daily routine you will stop checking the results of certain things. That can be a good start to overcoming the fear.

Fear of Social Rejection

One of the most basic human needs is to feel loved, respected and accepted. Fear of social rejection is very common when all possible choices are somehow negative.

We are talking about situations where choosing anything will inevitably lead to neglecting some of your own needs or those of others. Just think of times when you have the role of mediator in a conflict and make a decision for the people involved.

Problems due to fear of social rejection

When you fear social rejection, it creates problems. One of the problems is that you make decisions based on the approval of others and not based on what you really need. You don’t choose what makes you happiest or what is most beneficial for you. Because when you fear social rejection, you will choose what others like or what makes you look your best.

People who want to work on their fear of social rejection can use techniques from Third Wave Therapy. An example of this is the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. These techniques teach you to accept certain aspects of your life and the thoughts that you cannot change. This helps you make decisions based on your values ​​and needs.

Remember that making choices is something you cannot reject or delegate. You are in control of your choices. They will determine your future. You have to take responsibility for those decisions. If one of the fears we discussed here paralyzes you, you can always seek professional help.