Expect Nothing, And You Have Nothing To Lose

In general, people hope that things go well for them. In other words, we create expectations about how things should be, and how other people around us should behave. Expecting everything and then ending up with nothing can be frustrating or even devastating.

For example, you hope that people will react in a certain way when something bothers you. You also hope it won’t rain on the day you plan to go for a long walk. But be honest: how often have you been disappointed by other people?

In this case, what’s the key to not getting hurt by that sort of thing? The answer is to expect nothing, because that way you have nothing to lose.

That may sound a little depressing at first. We can also say it differently. Not creating expectations can be a powerful tool for your well-being.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of saying that expecting nothing means laying on the couch and letting life pass you by. However, it is quite the opposite, it is much more dynamic and active than that.

What it really means is a mental effort not to build false hopes or false beliefs. Why exactly is that so important? Well, if you don’t expect anything, it means you don’t run the risk of being disappointed. Let’s dig deeper into that!

Expect nothing, and you will have everything

How can anyone not have any expectation? Is that really possible? Almost everyone sticks to the idea that things should be done the way they want. That’s exactly the key: sticking to the idea. Doing so makes it much more likely that it will hurt if what you want doesn’t happen. So, what can you do?

The answer is to disengage from a particular outcome. For example, if you hope that someone will do something for you and then they don’t, it hurts. If you’re open to the possibility that this could happen, but it may not, protect yourself by considering two possible outcomes.

Buddhism says that we are all just trying to find happiness, but most of us go down the wrong road. If you don’t expect anything from a specific situation or person, then you have everything. In other words: you are open to every possible outcome.

When a friend meets your expectations, it brings you joy. If they don’t, it’s okay, because you already considered that possibility. It’s also important not to care, because we all make mistakes. There have probably also been times when you didn’t live up to someone else’s expectations.

Free yourself

Free yourself from the pain of mental stiffness. Life, your destiny, or whatever you want to call it, won’t always turn out the way you want it to.

A lot of people say things like “things always seem to go wrong for me” and “I keep getting let down.” Think about it: how many times have you expected something from someone, and then things turned out differently? You probably hear complaints every day of your life about things that don’t go the way people want.

So the goal is to learn to accept that “all these things that don’t work the way they should” work anyway, just not the way you want them to. It’s the gap between those two things that really leads to pain.

You will sometimes have to deal with disappointments from other people, but they will not be so painful. In fact, you can even learn something from those disappointments.

On the one hand, you can learn to accept other people without projecting your own desires onto them. Also, if you feel that their attitude towards you is really hurtful, it might be better to let them go.

Everything is possible

This quote gives you a chance to think about how much power you really have to control the things that happen around you. Rinchen talks about the idea that anything is possible, and you’re supposed to accept that idea into your own life. If anything is possible, you’ll be better prepared for the fact that things won’t turn out the way you expected.

When you expect nothing, you make everything possible, because you are open to everything that happens. Projecting an idea or hope for the future is fine as a way to energize yourself, as long as you know it might not turn out the way you want it to.

One of the most important ways to stop suffering because of expectations is to rest your mind.