Is Boredom In Relationships Actually Normal?

Boredom in relationships is as normal as being bored in your job, your family, your commitments, or any other aspect of your life. Let’s start by noting that boredom is not a deplorable condition. Besides, it’s not the end of the world.

Boredom can be described as a state of total absence of interest or motivation. The word “annoying” refers to “a thing that causes boredom or annoyance.” Thus, according to the etymology, it would mean something like “to be annoyed.”

Being bored with your lover, job, friends or whatever is quite normal under certain circumstances. Boredom is simply a consequence and not a problem in itself. It is like the darkness that makes the light appreciate more and vice versa.

Thoughts about boredom

Boredom is the “brother to another mother” of depression. It is a condition that causes a lot of discomfort and can easily lead to sadness. Sometimes it also leads to questions and thoughts about the true meaning of life. If you’re obsessed with it for a while, it can also drive you to despair.

Isaac Asimov predicted that boredom would become the greatest disease of modern times. Why the modern age? Did it not exist before? Not really. The only thing that might have changed this is that this feeling has somehow developed a bad name.

Boredom has acquired a negative connotation. And as with anything that is “negative” in the age of “positive thinking,” it will not be tolerated.

A person usually gets bored when he is not doing anything fun. In other words, boredom is the alternative, fun version of reality.

People start to feel annoyed when their activities become routine and overly repetitive. When there are no goals or objectives to look forward to or when they are no longer challenging, attractive or meaningful, this happens.

Boredom in relationships

Boredom in relationships is often a signal of a serious signal. The first thing a person thinks of is, of course, the suspicion that love is over. In fact, love and boredom in relationships are realities that often coexist. They may seem contradictory but they are not.

It often happens that people get bored with their loved one after several years or even months of living together. Research on the subject indicates that the critical point lies in a relationship between the fourth and seventh years.

That’s because this is when the brain stops releasing dopamine and other substances associated with falling in love. So we are biologically ready to get rid of our cohabitation partner when we know with certainty that our genes will survive.

From a psychological point of view, boredom in relationships can be a sign that the romantic love phase is over. However, a study conducted by Sandra L. Murray, Dale W. Griffin, and John G. Holmes shows that the more idealized the infatuation stage is, the less likely it is to get bored afterward.

Fear of Affection

When two people fall in love, something known as “fear of affection” is activated in them.  Starting a love affair with someone often causes the feeling that someone’s life is undergoing an expansion. People experience this as a psychological awakening that gives rise to many pleasant sensations.

In addition, there is a need for protection and comfort. One also experiences the fear of loss that accompanies it. The antidote to all this is to stay close to your loved one.

When these feelings are clearly mutual, the fear will subside. So in reality, these feelings indicate that there is a strong need for connection with the object of your affection.

Over time, this sense of individual expansion and psychological awakening subsides. What was once special becomes familiar. The exciting sense of novelty disappears. Also the enthusiasm and the accumulation of pleasant sensations that you used to experience disappear. It is at this point that boredom occurs in relationships.

Remember that things will never be the same as they were in the beginning. However, that doesn’t mean they have to be bad. After all, there are many ways to rekindle the flame and avoid the feeling of boredom.

You have to start with yourself. Have you become boring? If so, bring new things back into your relationship. That is the main way to reawaken your mutual interest.