Seven Reasons Why We Find It Hard To Make Friends

Maintaining friendships as an adult can be difficult for many people. First, there are the new “rules of the game” that we need to understand when it comes to friendships we formed during childhood and adolescence. The next step is understanding the factors that can make it difficult for us to make new friends.

Keeping friendships takes effort. Meeting people can be complicated for some people as they get older, but having acquaintances is quite different from having friends.

It is much harder to make friends as an adult than as a teenager. Also, many of the friendships we formed then now show their true nature, and so turn out not to be true friendships afterwards. Many people grow up and realize that they hardly have any friends, although many of them really want to.

Why making friends can be hard

People who feel like they don’t have many friends should consider why this might be happening. First, the rules of the game change as we get older. People change, build their lives around their work and family, and experience different things. All this affects their relationships with others.

Also, when we were young, we had behavioral patterns determined by our environment, so we did what we thought we should do. But over time, we began to see things in a different way, and many situations that we previously thought were important were no longer important.

In this regard, there are certain factors and attitudes that make it very difficult to make friends and maintain relationships. Ask yourself the following questions to find out why making and keeping friends might be difficult for you.

Do you complain a lot?

Are you someone who is constantly complaining about his job, lack of money, or how unfair his life is? People don’t like to spend their time with negative, pessimistic people. Try to develop a more positive attitude and find more interesting topics to talk about instead of always talking about your problems and how bad the world is.

Are you selfish?

Friendship is give and take. Sometimes you have to give more than you get. This involves listening, and sharing both material and spiritual things. But if you are only willing to take, then the balance is hard to find. Recognize that being selfish is an attitude and that no one will want to be your friend if you only think about yourself.

Do you care about others?

If you don’t care what happens to those around you, then it will be very difficult for you to build and maintain friendships. If you want to make friends, you should start by showing genuine interest in them.

Are you causing drama or trouble?

If you cause problems or overreact to them, you will see that no one will show any interest in what is happening to you. In fact, they will probably prefer to walk around you in a wide arc. If you enjoy doing things that annoy other people, if you share secrets, criticize people, or blame others, then it will be very unattractive for people to build a relationship with you at all.

Can you never forgive anything?

A friendship is a relationship that includes forgiveness. If you are someone who can never condone the mistakes of another person and can’t let go when someone else hurts them, then you show that you feel like you are the center of the universe and everything is around you running. You can’t start or maintain any relationship this way, let alone a true friendship.

Do you gossip?

By gossiping about someone else, you show yourself from a bad side. At first it may seem fun, but soon people will wonder if you do the same with them. Whether you also pass on their personal stories, or laugh at their flaws and problems.

Are you bossy?

Being bossy won’t help you make friends either. It’s one thing to take the initiative and want to help, it’s quite another to want to organize the whole situation or tell everyone what to do.

To make friends it is important that you listen and do not exaggerate. Don’t be pretentious, be respectful, and don’t expect people to do what you say. Remember this if you want to forge healthy relationships.