The Difference Between Spoiled Children And Disabling Children
Raising a child has become a complicated matter. And we still don’t understand why. There are many parents who struggle to keep their offspring happy. In their pursuit of this desire, they are often confronted with a contradiction – the more they try, the less they achieve. The most spoiled children are often the ones who suffer the most because of what they don’t have.
It is said that the new generations are ‘born tired’. Today, many children seem to have no idea what an alarm clock is. It can go off thousands of times and they still lie in bed, as if nothing happened. The parents have to call and prod them several times to get up and go to school.
Many parents know that this is not correct. Yet they keep making it happen. Because they are trapped in the dynamics that they have created themselves. They may not want to confront their child. They then feel that they do not have the authority to do this. Or they carry a weight on their shoulders and try to make themselves feel better. They do that by being more indulgent. That way they are left with spoiled children.
The truth is that many children today have become extremely lazy. They don’t make their bed. Plus, they have no idea what needs to be done to make sure their clothes look clean and ironed. Sometimes they aren’t even that small anymore. Because some children who are already a reasonable age also behave in the same way. What’s happening here?
I don’t want my child to go through what I went through…
Some parents feel that the children should not do certain tasks. Because they assume that effort and difficult situations shape the worst nightmares their children can face. So it’s easier not to ask them to do something. These parents idealize life and describe it in “paradise” terms. After all, that is what they want for their children, a colorful paradise, where they can grow up without any problems.
In their house the parents build a kind of ‘all-inclusive resort’. The children receive room and board and don’t even have to take care of ‘their things’, let alone the things of others. Hot food is provided and the bed is soft and always made. But that’s how parents create spoiled children.
Besides, it doesn’t end here. For these parents also teach the child the conjugation of the verb ‘ask’ whenever they want something. That’s what kids know best – questions. It’s all they have to do to get what they want. ‘Why don’t we give them the best phone if it helps their self-esteem?’, ‘Why not buy them the best clothes? I don’t want people saying they look homeless.’
‘I don’t want my child to go through what I’ve been through’ is a thought that often leads to disaster – and will continue to lead. Maybe it’s a way we try to make up for our own problems without solving them, or it’s an expression of our own limitations. But it is not right to raise our children only with love. Because children also need to experience satisfaction and learn how not to be lazy.
Who is responsible for whom?
Many parents are afraid of their spoiled children. Their fear is justified. This is especially true if we take into account that physical aggression against parents has increased in all Western countries. This is more common in some countries than in others. But in general, the percentages have already reached two-digit numbers. A large group of children punish their parents with physical violence. Other children do this emotionally. A large part of society appears to be tyrannized by ‘brats’.
In addition, many parents are unable to make decisions without talking to their child first. We have to ask ourselves – do they consult their children or… do they ask their permission? It may happen that the parents want to go on holiday and visit their parental home. But their child doesn’t want to. So they ask the child first to avoid trouble. They are afraid of the child’s reaction and the damage they may cause.
Creating spoiled children
The result of these forms of education is actually a vain person. But that is not the only consequence. These spoiled children also become passive, empty, overbearing, bigoted and selfish. And that’s exactly the kind of people that moms and dads don’t want around their child. They are exactly the kind of people who live without any meaning, not even for themselves.
Our grandparents and great-grandparents used the ‘belt’. But there’s also no need to go the military to raise responsible adults. It is an even more reprehensible course than excessive indulgence. Because it jeopardizes the integrity of the child.
But one thing is certain – it is the father or the mother who makes the decisions. They should also involve their children in household chores and dividing responsibilities without ifs or buts. A brutal parent raises a child who feels inferior. A permissive and obedient parent raises vain children. But a parent who knows how to set and maintain boundaries with affection makes strong children. And a weak parent will have to contend with spoiled children.
