The Silent Decay As We Pretend Everything Is Senang
New. Not all perils in and of life have a (ready-made) solution. And not everything can be explained (just like that) – no matter how hard we may try. Some situations cannot be satisfactorily explained or explained away. Nor do we have to fake a big grin on our faces twenty-four hours a day. Yet we – normally – strongly prefer to keep up the so-called clean appearance , to give the outward impression that nothing is wrong, rather than honestly acknowledging that we are actually perishing inwardly.
Pretending to be happy just to be accepted is a gross mistake many of us make on a regular basis. Even if under certain circumstances this feigning of well-being really has no accessory at all.
Therefore, for better or for worse, we must muster the courage not to fold our faces into an obligatory smile if it is not meant to be, or does not manifest itself naturally. To no longer sin against our authentic selves, by compulsively getting a white foot in everyone. Because being constantly tense about other people’s possible reaction – and especially that they might be worried about you – is an emotionally draining battle.
In order to avoid chronic stress, it is extra important to explicitly allow yourself to surrender and to not be in your sas. So that we don’t unduly pressure ourselves to appear cheerful, while inside we are disgusted and despairing. After all, pretending is extremely painful and alienating. Furthermore, feeling sadness and unease need in no way be equated with (character) weakness.
The Emotional Exhaustion of Pretentiousness: Inner Power Lost Forever
According to research data, as many as eight out of ten people who feel sad hide their heartache under a mask of unfazedness – often without realizing it, or much too late. This mismatch and discrepancy between our original feeling and our facial expression translates into an internal, affective breakdown, which we experience when emotionally broken. We become entangled in a downward spiral that tightens and squeezes our soul (and bliss) ever more tightly.
Until even the feelings and original sensitivity that should do us good in principle begin to wane, due to our inability to experience them openly, and to put them in a beneficial way to control them.
As a result, being shadowed by weary of life, and consumed by the anxious voice of our conscience, which we try in vain to silence. The key, then, is to accept ourselves completely – with all the trimmings – and to stop with the deceptive internal delusion.
This shift in perspective will help us in the fight against a whole host of psychosomatic complaints: from depression, anxiety disorders and the chronic fatigue syndrome, to distraught despair, insomnia and excessive irritability, or nervous breakdowns.
The secret source of resilience is acceptance
The most important lesson of our lives consists of getting to know, understand, appreciate and love ourselves (better) from the inside. However, in order to love yourself, you must first accept yourself unconditionally. And acceptance, in turn, cannot truly thrive without sound self-knowledge.
To approach this authentic emotional growth and maturation, we must renounce the aforementioned firmly internalized social adjustment impulse. Only then will we be able to free ourselves from the opinions and manipulations to which we are, and become, subject to year after year, day after day.
To see life – your life – cleanly, without the repression and numbness, you will have to find an alternative panorama point. Only from a new post, will your outlook, and what’s left in it, change de facto. Every morning, when you get up, pay attention to which glasses you put on and why.
In order not to get a distorted picture of reality, opticians advise us to choose carefully ground lenses, which sharpen our vision, both in the distance and near. In other words, in the context of our metaphor: the abandonment of our obscuring prejudices and beliefs. The ones that fog up our glasses, and transform the convex glass not into ‘laughing’, but into a weeping and hating mirror , or reflecting back.
Unfortunately, the importance and (audiovisual) impact of our inner dialogue has been seriously underestimated. What we mentally say to ourselves, and how, integrally colors the atmosphere of our introspective experience. That is why it is essential to (remain, and be able to) stand still, deep down, in the cave of our own conscience. And to listen, to the whisper of our hearts: respect me, and yourself – that is the only way to sanity! Regardless of whether it initially feels good or not – pretending is no longer an option.
