Why Do People Always Disappoint Me?

Why do people always disappoint me? If I always give everything, why do other people abandon me? Many people ask themselves these questions because they are frustrated, sad and looking for answers. If you often feel this way, you may even stop interacting with people altogether because you fear it will happen again.

While you may think time will make you forget your disappointments, it doesn’t really work that way. They leave a mark. Some people handle disappointment better than others and overcome it quickly. Others, however, are deeply affected by the emotions that eat them for years.

What causes this kind of disappointment? Are people in general just bad at relationships? Are you too selfish? Or maybe you trust too much?

People always disappoint you, what are the reasons?

Every individual has their own values ​​and way of looking at the world, love, respect and friendship. Even something as basic and seemingly universal as common sense can vary from person to person. So not everyone will agree 100% with your standards. No one in the world shares your exact view of life.

Nevertheless, you crave respect. You expect at least trust and honesty. Unfortunately, sometimes this doesn’t happen. As a result, almost everyone has experienced disappointment to some degree.

It’s the way the world works. While many people deal with it fairly well (and not too often), others seem to experience it over and over again. How did that happen?

Having too much faith – hypocrisy is the natural state of the human mind

If you want to steer your relationships a little better, try not to blindly trust every person you meet. Evolutionary psychologist Robert Kurzban explains something very interesting about this in his book Why Everyone (Else) Is a Hypocrite: Evolution and the Modular Mind.

Part of the mind has values ​​and ideological opinions. Another part, however, is exclusively intended to seduce people. You want people to like you, fit in, make friends, and win over the people you’re attracted to. To get what you want, you won’t hesitate to tell lies or be a little hypocritical.

As your relationship deepens, your true character will emerge. Suddenly you may find that the person you thought you knew doesn’t really share your values.

As a preventive measure, you need to be careful. Don’t trust people until you’ve known them for a while. Observe how they behave, especially with the seemingly insignificant things. Otherwise they will always disappoint you.

People always disappoint you because of high expectations

As William Shakespeare once said, expectation is the root of all heartache. So if you’re asking yourself “why do people always disappoint me,”  you should probably take a closer look at yourself. What kind of expectations do you have of other people?

Adjusting your expectations can have a significant positive impact on your life. If you stop expecting other people to be and do exactly the way you want them to, it will eventually make you happier.

The tendency towards painful relationships

Some people tend to seek romantic relationships or friendships with personalities that hurt them. For example, men and women with heightened empathy (the classic Wendy syndrome, the need to care for others and feel useful) often end up in relationships with narcissists.

This happens a lot. Your personality type seeks out the kind of person who brings out the worst in you. This may be because you have low self-esteem and that person makes you feel like you are being seen or that your needs are not being met.

People in that situation often don’t realize what’s going on until they suddenly become aware of the manipulation and deception.

You never get exactly what you give

Reciprocity means receiving exactly what you give. To assume that this is an absolute truth can cause a lot of suffering. Most people expect to get exactly what they put into it.

However, relationships are not business transactions. If you constantly ask yourself why people disappoint you, you may need to change your perception of reciprocity.

• Reciprocity is primarily allowing yourself to receive and enjoy what others give you.
• It is a completely free act. Each individual decides what he or she wants to give and how they give it.
• For example, maybe you have a friend who doesn’t respond to your messages as often as you’d like. However, this friend is by your side in difficult situations.
• It is therefore important to opt for a more relaxed approach. You shouldn’t try to measure everything you’ve put into a relationship and what you’re getting back. If you do this, you will be constantly disappointed.

In short, it is important to accept that disappointments are part of life. You can lower your expectations and be a little more careful who you trust. Remember, caution is always a good companion.